Hi. I’m Eileen.
I live with my husband and six children in a small rural town in New England where we do chaos. I also have a few babies who live in heaven.
I am a writer, a speaker, and I do so many other things that it’s just plain silly – like homeschool and cook and do laundry (oh my word, the laundry!), knit, bake bread, let the dog in and out too many times a day, keep chickens, tend a garden, and, well…let’s just say that’s a current picture of my kitchen counter up there, folks. I’m just keeping it real, here.
I’m a creative person who is figuring out how to make room for my own healing, growing, and creating while also navigating the chaos of motherhood. For a long time, I put my own peace and creativity aside so that I could care for these amazing little people who call me mom, do the housework, the cooking the cleaning and all the things that come with a house full of children.
But that just was not working for me.
I felt like I wasn’t able to be my true self. And the laundry and dishes and mess never stopped no matter how hard I worked, which I suppose could be a factor of the babies we kept adding to the equation. I was busy and sacrificing and giving of myself, as moms are supposed to do, but I felt like I was always running on empty.
I had some healing to do – from wounds that have been around for a lifetime, and from some that are relatively new, like grieving the loss of my babies. I knew that by not making time for myself to do some things that I love and to do the hard, hard work of healing, I was probably going to be passing along some of those same kinds of wounds to the very people I love the most.
Because some of the chaos I had was on the inside.
And so I learned to say no to some things. And to say yes to others.
I say no to overscheduling us. I say no to social media (finally). I say no to going for weeks without taking the “mom” hat off and getting out of the house for a while. I say no to distracting myself from the hard feelings and not doing the work it takes to really heal.
And because of those “nos” I can say “yes” to so many other things. I can say yes to being emotionally available for my children. I can say yes to making space for my own creativity so that I can recharge myself. I can say yes to being an example to my children of someone who takes care of her own needs, too. I can say yes to recognizing that God is with me in the hard parts and that He will not leave me because He wants my healing and wholeness, too.
I make time for some things that I need and by doing so, feel like I’m able to be my authentic self – the one God created me to be – and nurture the gifts He gave me. And it’s making that time – to pray, to create, to heal, to grow – that lets me see the blessing in the everyday chaos. (Well, sometimes.)
I have found that the secret to being able to do so many things for my family is to add in a few of the things that are important to me, too. If you can relate, I hope you’ll share your experiences and ideas for how you make it all work.
Meanwhile, I’ll keep sharing what I’m learning and what has helped me to heal, to grow, and continue moving along the path toward holiness.
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2 thoughts on “Is there chaos in your house, too?”
Thanks for sharing, Eileen. You are so special, so insightful and so wise. You created a wonderful life for our kids in our family chaos, I can only Imagine what you can do with your own! I KNOW your family chaos is wonderful to be a member of…
Oh, Deirdre – thank you so much for these kind words. I can only hope my kids grow up to be as sweet as yours. ❤